Ask a dozen strangers on the street what Borderline Personality Disorder is, and there’s a good chance you’ll get a dozen answers that don’t hit the mark. Which isn’t surprising, given it’s one of the most stigmatized and misunderstood mental health conditions. Like any mental health condition, understanding starts with the right education and support. Together, let’s explore what Borderline Personality Disorder is, along with its symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment.

Borderline Personality Disorder: A definition

Simply put, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD for short) is a mental health condition marked by deep abandonment fears and emotional instability. People living with BPD usually struggle with emotional regulation, self-image, and interpersonal relationships.

Another thing: BPD is not Bipolar Disorder, despite the disorders being regularly confused with each other. Bipolar Disorder symptoms can last for days, even weeks; BPD symptoms are much more short-lived by comparison.

BPD: The symptoms

They vary, of course, like any disorder. The following symptoms, though, are common for most who live with BPD:

  • An inability to regulate emotions. Think sudden mood swings, often in response to conflict or stress.
  • Unstable relationships. Do you idealize someone one minute, then devalue them the next?
  • You fear abandonment. And will go to extreme lengths to avoid separation.
  • You’re unnecessarily impulsive.
  • You feel empty. A lot.
  • You often feel unsure of who you are.
  • Paranoia and dissociation often strike when you’re stressed.

Diagnosing BPD

This is the tricky part. Diagnosing Borderline Personality Disorder is a challenging process, a thorough clinical evaluation by a licensed mental health professional. Think a psychiatrist, think a psychologist. Think of a health professional who has recently upskilled with one of the many certified online doctoral programs in counseling. What’s critical is that you don’t self-diagnose.

Whoever you choose, they will use the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (5th Edition), or DSM-5 for short. This manual lists nine possible BPD symptoms; if you meet at least five of these, you likely have this condition. The reason this assessment is so thorough is that BPD shares symptoms with disorders like PTSD and depression; getting the diagnosis right is the surest path to proper, effective treatment.

What causes Borderline Personality Disorder?

Firstly, there’s no single cause with BPD (again, which is why it’s so challenging to diagnose). It appears that a mix of things combine to cause it, including (but not always limited to):

  • Your genetics. If your family has a history of BPD (or other, similar disorders), it can increase your risk.
  • Your social environment. Commonly, people living with BPD have experienced trauma, abuse, or neglect in the past.
  • How you’re wired. Studies have shown that your neurological differences can have a significant influence on emotion and impulse control.

The key is finding (and understanding) the root cause of your BPD.

Daily disruption: Living with BPD

Borderline Personality Disorder isn’t something that occasionally creeps up on you; it’s usually a shadow that darkens every corner of your life, from home life to work life to everything in between. There’s no mystery as to why people living with BPD describe its effect like that of a rollercoaster—an emotional one. Even when you’re surrounded by love and support, its influence can still make relationships volatile.

For this reason (among others), stigma persists. If you’re living with BPD, you’ve probably been described (on more than one occasion, no doubt) as ‘too much’ or ‘manipulative’, damaging words that only add to the isolation.

Management and treatment

The good news is, BPD is treatable, highly treatable. With the right approach, many people experience significant, long-lasting improvement in their well-being.

When it comes to medication, nothing exists that’s FDA-approved and BPD-specific. That said, your doctor may prescribe you antidepressants and mood stabilizers. Therapy is a common avenue for BPD treatment, especially Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), which is considered the gold standard for BPD treatment.

Lean on me: How to support someone with BPD

If it’s not you living with BPD, but someone you care about, your support can mean the world. Here are a few tips to ensure that support lands right:

  • Education is the key that unlocks your support. Learning the nuances of an extremely nuanced condition enables you to support someone in the best possible way. A brilliant place to start your education is with the National Education Alliance for Borderline Personality Disorder.
  • Set boundaries for yourself. This is critical. Without boundaries, you risk burning out from giving too much support.
  • Try not to take things personally. Unannounced emotional reactions will occur. That said, it’s at your discretion.

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It’s complex, BPD; there’s no getting around this. That said, it’s not a grim sentence you must serve for life, and should never be thought of as such. The right treatment, education, and support will help anyone living with BPD, as these things naturally help foster stronger relationships, stabilize lives, and give people a deeper sense of self-worth.